No, bad parenting didn’t cause your child’s ADHD or autism. Or yours.
ADHD and autism still carry a lot of stigma and confusion. Many people hold strong beliefs about them that simply don’t match the evidence. There are many kinds of neurodivergence, but this post focuses on ADHD and autism, and three myths we hear again and again.
At a glance
- Myth 1: Bad parenting causes ADHD or autism. Fact: Both are strongly genetic. Parenting can’t cause or prevent them.
- Myth 2: They’re overdiagnosed, or not real. Fact: Both are well-established, and many people, especially girls and women, still go unrecognised.
- Myth 3: They can be cured. Fact: They’re lifelong ways of being. Support can make life much easier.
Myth 1
“Bad parenting causes ADHD and autism”
The facts: ADHD and autism are strongly influenced by genes. Twin studies estimate ADHD is about 74% heritable,[1] and a study of two million people across five countries estimated autism is about 80% heritable.[2] Nothing a parent said or did caused it, and stricter parenting couldn’t have prevented it.
This myth has a painful history. Decades ago, mothers of autistic children were wrongly blamed for being “cold”. That idea was proven wrong, but echoes of it remain.
Why the myth sticks around
Believing that the “right” parenting prevents ADHD or autism can make people feel more in control. It can also let them see other parents as having done something wrong. Often it comes from seeing neurodivergence as something bad, rather than a different way of being.
What parenting does affect
Parenting can’t cause or cure ADHD or autism, but it does shape how supported a child feels. Warm, understanding parenting helps children build confidence and skills. Very harsh or punishing approaches tend to add stress and shame, without teaching the skills a child actually needs. And if you’re a parent reading this: needing support doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you care.
Myth 2
“They’re overdiagnosed, or not even real”
The facts: ADHD and autism are recognised, well-researched conditions. An international consensus of ADHD experts drew 208 evidence-based conclusions from decades of research.[3] More people are being diagnosed now mostly because awareness and understanding have grown.
Many people are still missed
- Girls and women. Australia’s ADHD clinical guideline notes ADHD may be underdiagnosed and undertreated in women and girls.[4] For autism, a large review found the ratio of boys to girls is likely closer to 3 to 1 than the long-assumed 4 to 1, suggesting many girls go unrecognised.[5]
- Barriers to assessment. In 2023, an Australian Senate inquiry looked at the barriers people face getting a timely ADHD assessment and support, and made 15 recommendations.[6]
- Adults. Many adults were never assessed as children, because ADHD and autism weren’t well understood when they were growing up.
An honest note on overdiagnosis
The picture isn’t one-sided. A 2021 Australian review found evidence that ADHD is sometimes overdiagnosed in children and teens with milder, borderline symptoms.[7] That’s exactly why a careful, thorough assessment matters, so the right people get the right support.
Why “it’s not real” persists
ADHD and autism are often called hidden disabilities. Someone may look like they’re coping well, while working incredibly hard behind the scenes. Seeing more diagnoses doesn’t mean more people suddenly have ADHD or autism. It means we’re finally noticing people who were there all along.
Myth 3
“ADHD and autism can be cured”
The facts: ADHD and autism aren’t illnesses to cure. They’re lifelong neurotypes, different ways a brain is wired. Therapy, support and, for some people with ADHD, medication can make daily life much easier. They don’t change who you are.
Be cautious of anyone promising a “cure”. Unproven treatments can be expensive, and some can be harmful. If something sounds too good to be true, talk to a trusted health professional first.
What psychology can do is help you live a happier, more fulfilling life, on your own terms. And whatever your brain, you are a person of value who can live a full, healthy life.
What actually helps
- Understanding your brain. Knowing how you think, focus and feel takes away a lot of self-blame.
- Strategies that fit. Tools for focus, energy, planning and getting started on tasks that don’t naturally hold your interest.
- Using your interests. Deep interests can be a source of joy, connection and even work.
- Communicating your needs. Learning to explain what helps you, at home, school and work, rather than trying to “act normal”.
- Sensory comfort. Adjusting your environment so everyday life is less draining.
- Accepting people. Family, friends and communities who accept you as you are.
How Psychcare can help
- Careful, neuro-affirming assessments. Thorough ADHD, autism and AuDHD assessments for children, teens and adults.
- Support for parents. Practical, guilt-free support for families. See children and teens.
- Therapy that fits your brain. Neuro-affirming therapy for self-understanding, strategies and wellbeing.
Common questions
Does sugar cause ADHD?
No. A review of controlled studies found sugar didn’t affect children’s behaviour or thinking.[8] Parents may notice excitement at parties, but that’s usually the occasion, not the sugar.
Do vaccines cause autism?
No. A large review of studies involving more than a million children found no link between vaccines and autism.[9]
Can stress at home make ADHD or autism worse?
Stress doesn’t cause ADHD or autism, but it can make everyday challenges harder for anyone. Calm, predictable support helps, and getting support for yourself as a parent helps too.
Is it too late to get assessed as an adult?
Not at all. Many adults are assessed in their 30s, 40s and beyond, and often find it brings real relief and self-understanding.
Keep reading
Wondering about ADHD or autism?
Whether it’s for you or your child, we can help you understand what’s going on, without blame. Book online, call us, or start with a free 15-minute chat.
(02) 9037 3509Suite 4 & 5, 5 Redleaf Avenue, Wahroonga NSW 2076. Telehealth Australia-wide. Psychcare is not an emergency service. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 000 or contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.
Sources
- Faraone, S. V., & Larsson, H. (2019). Genetics of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Molecular Psychiatry, 24(4), 562–575.
- Bai, D., Yip, B. H. K., Windham, G. C., et al. (2019). Association of genetic and environmental factors with autism in a 5-country cohort. JAMA Psychiatry, 76(10), 1035–1043.
- Faraone, S. V., Banaschewski, T., Coghill, D., et al. (2021). The World Federation of ADHD International Consensus Statement: 208 evidence-based conclusions about the disorder. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 128, 789–818.
- Australian ADHD Professionals Association. (2022). Australian evidence-based clinical practice guideline for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
- Loomes, R., Hull, L., & Mandy, W. P. L. (2017). What is the male-to-female ratio in autism spectrum disorder? A systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 56(6), 466–474.
- Senate Community Affairs References Committee. (2023). Assessment and support services for people with ADHD. Parliament of Australia.
- Kazda, L., Bell, K., Thomas, R., McGeechan, K., Sims, R., & Barratt, A. (2021). Overdiagnosis of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder in children and adolescents: A systematic scoping review. JAMA Network Open, 4(4), e215335.
- Wolraich, M. L., Wilson, D. B., & White, J. W. (1995). The effect of sugar on behavior or cognition in children: A meta-analysis. JAMA, 274(20), 1617–1621.
- Taylor, L. E., Swerdfeger, A. L., & Eslick, G. D. (2014). Vaccines are not associated with autism: An evidence-based meta-analysis of case-control and cohort studies. Vaccine, 32(29), 3623–3629.
This article is general information, not personal clinical advice.